“It is I. Do not be afraid.” They say that the phrase “do not be afraid” occurs 365 times in the Bible. Fear and relief are important emotions in our lives. As I read this, I remembered a moment when I was terrified. The fear I felt at the time was the fear of meaninglessness. I live, study and strive to live a better life. There are many things we need to work on. To make friends, have relationships, take tests, and learn, and we succeed and fail. I experienced joy, frustration, and failure. But basically I didn’t know why I was living. I thought at the time, “If I knew why I live, I would be happy even though if have to die after five minutes. On the contrary, if I live without knowing why I live, even if I lived 60 or 70, my life would be no different than that of dogs and cats.”
I pleaded an unbelieving God, and he came to visit me. You may ask, how do you know if the experience is God’s experience or a fantasy done by yourself in your imagination? There is no explanation or proof of that. But I know. I believe that He was God. I hoped to be lifelong friends with Jesus, who came to me in a moment of fear. I believed that one day I would find the answer if I continue the friendship with Jesus. So I decided to become a Christian.
Fears, crises, and difficulties are situations and emotions that we want to avoid. It throws us into darkness and separates us from everything. It’s an emotion we want to avoid. But it is also a blessed time to meet the invisible God, as in today’s Gospel (John 6:16-21) and in my experience of God. Perhaps the moment God chooses to reveal Himself may be felt as fear, crisis, and darkness to us. The question is whether we close our eyes and turn away from it, or whether we call upon God who awaits us beyond. In other words, what kind of faith we have in such darkness determines our lives. May we continue to seek God today, no matter what the circumstances may be. “It is I. Do not be afraid.”
Homily delivered by Fr John Chong, SJ
22 April 2023 | Saturday in the 2nd week of Easter
Cenacle Retreat House