Cracks of Beauty
Homily delivered by Fr Arnel Aquino, SJ on the Launching Mass for the Cenacle Bicentenary Celebration
Our dear Cenacle sisters have carefully chosen the theme of earthen vessels for their 200th anniversary. When we think of earthen vessels, we straightaway think of Jeremiah & his very comforting metaphor of God as a potter, & we, the vessels that emerge from ugly, formless lumps of clay in God’s masterful hands. But as it happens, clay pots that we are, we get knocked over & fall & break. This is where Kintsugi comes in as an accompanying theme the sisters have chosen for their anniversary: the Japanese art of repairing broken vessels, but in a very distinct way.
Once upon a time, a Japanese shogun accidentally broke his favorite ceramic tea bowl from China. He sent it back to China to be restored. But the bowl came back like Frankenstein; the shards hideously stapled together by crude metal braces. Disgusted, the shogun asked his craftsmen to do something, anything, and bring his poor mangkok back to its native perfection. So, they unstapled the broken pieces & stuck them back together w/ lacquer blended w/ powdered gold. Gold gave the lacquer durability for hold and a glimmer beautiful to behold. The shogun’s craftsmen did not even try to hide the cracks, no. They still very well ran up, down, & around the restored mangkok. But how the cracks shimmered now in gentle magnificence! By the way, the first sight of a kinstsugied vessel can be quite jarring. The gold just jumps right at you. But stay with it for a while and you realize, “Ah, the breaks are actually beautiful.” Stay a little bit more & you realize, “Ah, the cracks recite the poetry.” Stay a little bit longer still and you realize, “Ah, brokenness is not hidden. It is humbly honored.”
A precious blessing we’ve received from God is the faithful accompaniment of our Cenacle sisters. As the Divine Potter shapes & reshapes our awkward, lumpy selves in his firm, gentle hands, a Cenacle sister has been there to help keep the potter’s wheel turning. And every time life knocks us over & we fall & we break, a Cenacle sister has helped us pick up the broken pieces of ourselves, so we can together offer them back for the Divine Craftsman to do kintsugi on us.
For when we needed someone to get us to somewhere we can pull our life together, a Cenacle sister was there to walk us through a spirituality. When we were beside ourselves w/ joy & wanted to celebrate how life was turning out, a Cenacle sister was there for a quiet gratitude recollection. When we kept waking up from nightmares after a breakup, a separation, an abuse, a Cenacle sister was there to paramedic us through deep, long, existential breaths of prayer. When we felt ganged up on & pushed against the wall at work, or in our community, or by our very own family, a Cenacle sister was there to open up a space for our tears & our pain, then, to remind us that in God’s eyes, we have always been enough. And when we were the ones who were desperate to control others, when we were the ones hurtful in our dominance, when we did unto others what we precisely suffered through ourselves, a Cenacle sister was also there for the gentle scolding.
Our Cenacle sisters tirelessly teach that we need to cooperate with God in shaping & reshaping us into vessels of grace. But they never want us to forget that God was only too happy to create someone other to Godself, different from Godself, fragile, yes, but lovely, intricate, beautiful. The Cenacle sisters taught us to say, “Maganda ako! Magaling ako!” But when we’re knocked over, and we fall, & we break, the sisters help us admit our own carelessness, our mindlessness, our refusal to be still, and to let God be the God, ‘yun bang mga ambag natin sa sarili nating pagkabasag. But they’re there to pick up the shards w/ us & offer them to God, so God can do what God does best to broken humanity, divine kintsugi.
Why are our dear Cenacle sisters able to do all this, sisters & brothers? Because like us, they are vessels themselves, far from flawless. May mga galos din sila. Nasugatan, nagpasa sa mga kalmot at suntok ng buhay. Sure, they’ve seen through much filling with God’s grace. Pero nauubos din sila. Hindi lang natin nalalaman. Tahimik lang. Because even if God lines their brokenness in gold, sisters & brothers, our sisters know they should never wear their tragedies like medals & play the victim. Rather, they integrate their brokenness into their wholeness precisely by helping us do the very same. But not crying out, not shouting, not making their voices heard in the streets. That’s kintsugi right there. Brokenness accepted & restored, but unhidden & part of the overall design.
In that first ever cenacle where Jesus ate his last ever meal w/ his friends, he must’ve felt utterly broken-hearted. He knew his enemies would soon splinter him & take him down. Sa lahat ng kabutihang ginawa niya, siya pa rin ang masama. Sa lahat pagbubuo niya sa mga nabiyak at nabasag, siya pa rin ang bibiyakin at babasagin ng mga nagkukunwaring matuwid, buo, at walang kalamat-lamat. So, what did Jesus do? He broke the bread that was his body & poured out the wine that was his blood. The heart of kintsugi. To be life-giving to others by being broken into many pieces. To forgive & be forgiven by being emptied out. Whenever we celebrate the Last Supper in the upper room at every mass, sisters & brothers, we are to ever remember: Jesus binds our brokenness with his own. Yaman din lamang at bungi-bungi na tayo, ang gamit niyang pambuo ay ang pira-piraso na rin niyang katauhan. At ang kanyang panghinang? His never-fading, never-failing, intricate, luminous love.
Dear Cenacle Sisters, congratulations on your 200th anniversary of existence in the world. Thank you again & again for pouring out your lives into ours, sometimes unto your emptiness, so that our bowls, lined as they are w/ cracks & fissures, may be filled w/ God’s tender bounty. Bubbles taught me a quote from St Therese Couderc which I have never forgotten: “Dieu et bon. Dieu est plus que bon. Dieu est la Bonté.” God is good. God is more than good. God is goodness.
We love you, dear Sisters, I love you. At 200 years old, you’re still beautiful! Kay gaganda ninyo! Kay gaganda po nating lahat.
