TPRF & Graces

A reflection by Darlene Custodio

TPRF & Graces

(𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘐 𝘤𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘐 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘥𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘴) 

One of the most significant moments for me at the retreat was when we were encouraged to step outside into nature and find something that catches our attention, as if God Himself was speaking to us through it. My planner-self was ready: I would hunt for a caterpillar because I was hoping to meditate on the cycle of growth and change.

But I didn’t see any.

In its place, I took photos of thorns, a bark and an insect with a name I had to google yet. Forgetting about the caterpillar, I joined Colyn by the pond as she snapped pictures of the fish. We lingered there for a while until we were able to reach the left side of the retreat house. There, a butterfly flew over me all of a sudden. I just stood still and waited to see where it would settle. When it finally settled on a leaf, Colyn urged me to take a picture of it and use the frame. I was hesitant at first. I had plenty of failed attempts in the past because butterflies never stayed long enough; they would quickly fly away before I could capture them. But this time was different. The butterfly remained steady even if I got closer. So I took my time gently taking photos of it. 

Funny. I set out searching for a caterpillar, but God provided me with a butterfly instead. When I settled in the kubo and reflect about it, I learned two things: first, that God often surprises me with gifts I don’t expect but truly need. Truly, He knows me best; and second, that just as the butterfly stopped on the leaf, God was showing me that my pauses and rests also belong to His plan. In my schedule of meeting ‘life project’ deadlines, rest is a sacred space where grace works quietly. 

Another significant part of my TPRF journey was carrying the physical discomfort of my allergies and being heavy with antihistamine. The drowsiness and difficulty in focusing made it hard to be fully present. Yet this, too, became a lesson: God embraces my whole person… including my struggles and limitations. 

In the end, I realized that God was present both in the beauty of the butterfly and in the heaviness of my body. He meets me in my longing, my searching, and even in my discomfort. He reminds me that transformation takes many forms: sometimes it looks like movement and growth, but often it comes through the gift of simply pausing, resting, and allowing Him to be God.

I carry with me a heart full of gratitude especially for the soft ways God spoke, for the community I shared this retreat with, and for the patient guidance of the Cenacle Sisters: Sr. Malen, Sr. Xiaowei, and Sr. Ria. Most of all, I am grateful for the grace to see my own limitations differently… not as failures, but as spaces where God’s love can dwell. Through His lens, I now see myself with more compassion and love. And, I also remember the line my former mentor told me: Who you are is as important as what you do. 

Sister would often ask us during the last two days, “Andam na?” and my answer was always, “Dili pa.” Looking back now after the TPRF, I realize that readiness doesn’t mean being perfect or free from fear (or even free from kabuhi kay nakulbaan huhu). Readiness means being willing to show up as I am, trusting that God will do the rest.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

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* Training Program for Retreat Facilitators
held on 11-17 August 2025