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Making ā€˜heart-sense’ of Suffering

Have you ever had the experience of feeling that you were being prepared for something but did not understand what you were being prepared for? I remember that I was just a year into a major responsibility when I had a powerful yet unusual experience in prayer. In prayer I felt very strongly that God was saying to me, I will be with you through all these. I was puzzled what ā€œall theseā€ meant since there was really nothing earthshaking going on in my life. About four months later, I was diagnosed with the dreaded disease – I had cancer. Initially, whenever I was asked how I was, I would bemusedly answer, ā€œI think I’m shocked. I don’t feel anything.ā€ For the next two days, I went about systematically cancelling my seminars, retreats, appointments, informing my family, our superiors in Rome – as though making arrangements for a stranger. Later, when the reality of the cancer sunk in, I cried out to God in fear asking, ā€œLord, how do we go through this together? Where will this bring me? Where will this bring us?ā€   We are once again in the season of Holy Week that we usually associate with the Lord’s intense suffering – that’s why it’s also called the week of the PASSION, a word to mean intense love. We come to times and places like these hoping to find some sense why there is so much pain and suffering in our lives, in the lives of those we love, in the world. We hope that we can find our own personal stories of suffering against the backdrop of the greatest story of love of Jesus. As we reflect on the reality of suffering, maybe we can ask ourselves: What is God’s invitation to me with regards my experience of suffering? How am I to be with it? How do I make ā€˜heart-sense’ of this? How am I to bring this experience into my relationship with God?   I like to see this experience of suffering as an inner journey that can have ā€œlandmarksā€ to help me go through this passage. I call these the ā€œlandmarks in the landscape of sufferingā€. (1st landmark) Ā  Suffering is a lonely experience This hit me when the reality of what cancer could do to my life began to take hold of me. I felt very alone. Because of this, there were many moments when it was unbearably lonely. Although the whole Congregation, my family, my friends were praying for me and tried to be with me, there was still something about what was happening to me that I could not share with anyone even if I wanted to. There were times when I wanted to cry and no tears came. I wanted to talk about my fears, my inner turmoil, my questions but no words came. There were times when I felt like I was imprisoned within thick glass walls. I could see people, they could see me but I could not reach them. I seemed so isolated in their midst. (2nd landmark) Suffering takes us on an emotional rollercoaster ride Having worked through emotional problems – both my own and others’ – I know that we have a wide variety of feelings like the many colors of the rainbow, feelings that need articulation. I experienced the myriad of feelings and emotions in the short span of time as I agonized and waited for the surgery date, test results, doctors, healing to happen…just waiting. The most difficult part of the waiting was knowing that there was uncertainty ahead and the unknown before me. In the face of suffering there were two options possible – to fight the experience and take control of everything OR to let go of my control of how things should be and surrender to God’s healing process and the ministrations of the healers around me. (3rd landmark) Suffering opens us to experience the silence of God When we don’t understand things that happen to us, we ask questions. If we have tried to be a good person or ā€œGod-fearingā€, we may ask why suffering visits us, like the title of a book: Why Do Bad Things Happen to Good People by a Jewish rabbi. Maybe that’s a good title for the questioning we go through. I hear people ask questions like: Is God punishing me? Is God testing my faith? What did I do to deserve this? In these times, we experience that God is so silent. Life seemed like one endless gloom in the valley of death. And yet, when I had moments of quiet within myself, I felt God’s presence in the silence. Even as I was hurting badly, I felt in some unexplainable way, that God was hurting with me. God understood my pain. God shared it. And that enabled me to move on and work through the pain and suffering. That consolation did not make the suffering less painful. It made it bearable. (4th landmark) Ā  Suffering invites me to locate this experience in my on going love relationship with my God. The song If I Could by Barbara Streisand speaks of what a mother goes through for the sake of her child. I would help you make it through the hungry years but I know I can never cry your tears. But I would, if I could .. I have tried to change the world I brought you to and there’s not much I would not do for you and I would if I could. What parent does not want the best for their child? They would even want to spare their child from pain, but that is not possible. So when the child suffers, the parents suffer with them. When the one I love is in pain, I too am in pain. I share in whatever pain or joy my loved one is experiencing. Sharing the other’s suffering is called compassion. The invitation to receive the grace of compassion is

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Nuggets for the Season

Monday of the Second Week in Lent (February 26, 2018) Jesus said to his disciples: “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.. For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you.”Ā  Ā  Ā – Luke 6:36-38 ‘Less of Me’ – Glen Campbell. Let me be a little kinder Let me be a little blinder To the faults of those about me Let me praise a little more Let me be when I am weary Ā Just a little bit more cheery Ā Think a little more of others Ā And a little less of me Ā Let me be a little braver When temptation bids me waver Ā Let me strive a little harder Ā To be all that I should be Let me be a little meeker Ā With the brother that is weaker Ā Let me think more of my neighbor Ā And a little less of me Let me be when I am weary Ā Just a little bit more cheery Ā Let me serve a little better Those that I am strivin’ for Ā Let me be a little meeker Ā With the brother that is weaker Ā Think a little more of others Ā And a little less of me Ā 

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Lent – a story of love

Ā Today is Valentine’s day, and, also, Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. Can we really celebrate both together? This is Lent. Lent was the dog of the Filipino sisters who run the Vila Sao Jose Center in Coloane, Macau, where I had my retreat. The sisters adored Lent. He followed them around the four-storey building, accompanied them in their daily chores. Lent’s mother was a stray dog who came to the center everyday because the kind sisters feed her. After a few days of absence she appeared again at their doorstep, this time carrying her newborn, as if entrusting her baby to the sisters’ care. That puppy was Lent, named so because he came to them during Lent. During the Christmas break all the sisters went home to the Philippines leaving Lent with Kuya Dong, their gardener/handyman. One day the sisters got a call from Kuya Dong saying Lent has weakened because he has refused to eat since they left, and that he tried everything to make him eat, but Lent would not budge. After three weeks the sisters went back to Macau, but Lent was no longer there to meet them. They were one day too late. The vet said Lent must have gone into depression thinking that his masters have abandoned him, and then eventually succumbed to cardiac arrest. Lent’s story is a love story. He was loved from the beginning till the end of his life. But, like many great love stories, his met a tragic end. The seemingly somber atmosphere of the season of Lent, however, is not about tragedy. In fact, we know that at the end of this season we celebrate the Feast of all feasts— the victory of Christ over death on Easter Sunday. Then why do we need to go through Lent? This is where Lent’s story has reminded me of these two important things: 1) the need to face and embrace our pain and 2) God is faithful to his promises. Lent loved his masters intensely that he was not able to bear the pain of loneliness of their absence, even when Kuya Dong was there to care for him, he could not be appeased. Had Lent known that his masters never intended to abandon him, and that they would be back soon because they loved him too, had he understood their promise, he would have patiently waited and endured his suffering knowing that the great joy of reuniting with his masters would be his at the end of it. We do not have the mind and heart of a dog. Even when some dogs act more human than many human beings we know, only the human has the Spirit of God been breathed into. If dogs are capable of exhibiting what seems to us as love, how much more are we humans capable of loving— God created us from love, in love and for love. The season of Lent is about trusting this love.Ā  Do we find ourselves trusting God’s love for us?   How often have we doubted our own worth, convinced that we have been abandoned, forgotten , rejected and unloved? Ā How is it that despite hearing the comforting and affirming words of others, we still could not see beyond our own convictions?   Trusting this love will mean that we beg to hear God’s promise repeated to us: Death is not the end of our story, though we must die first in order for new life to begin. We are able to embrace and endure our pain because we have been loved and we are loved, and that God promised us joy will be ours in the end.   When we persevere in faith amidst our suffering, we allow God to purify us from false loves, so that we may know what real love is. This is also the belief behind sacrifices and self-denial during Lent. May our Lenten observances lead us to deeper faith and trust in God, and an even greater love and solidarity for those who are suffering. May our belief in the Resurrection help us to open our hearts to God’s love for us and to hope in the fulfillment of God’s promises. Jesus, our Master, will never abandon us.     Sr. Yna, OƱate rc Cenacle-Macau

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A permanent & unshakable character of God – Santo NiƱo

Homily from Fr. Arnel Aquino S.J.Ā on January 20, 2018, Feast ofĀ Sto. NiƱo, Holy Child Jesus,Ā at the Cenacle Retreat House. On the 1st week of the new year, I went home to Davao to visit with my dad for a week. One day, I decided to walk from the Jesuit Residence to San Pedro Cathedral. My mom used to love hearing mass there. The church is a good walk, around 2.5, 3 km from the JesRes. So walk I did, one Sunday afternoon, to catch the 5:30 Cebuano mass. Just 5 minutes into my walk, a little girl, about 1/3 of my height, broke into my direction, walking a few paces in front of me. From the way the little girl walked—which was really more of an ā€œadvanced toddleā€ā€”she must’ve been around 4 years old. She was in rags, too, so easily a street urchin, but cute as button like all kids her age—curly hair, fat cheeks, feet like little pandesals! And, my God, she was going at a good clip, because as I kept my pace, I wasn’t gaining on her. Ten minutes in, the little girl was still walking, no sign of stopping or turning back; no sign of anyone coming to meet her. So it struck me silly to realize this child was really alone! And she & I were the only ones going my direction at the time. Or maybe I didn’t notice the others because I was busy being roped in to watch over the little girl. Ten minutes in, she was still walking. For a 4-yr-old, that’s a pretty long time & a pretty long way. I very strongly felt the urge to catch up with her & assume full responsibility, but I didn’t, because I was so curious to find out (a) where she was headed all by her lonesome, & (b) why there wasn’t a hint of ā€œlost-nessā€ or fear or panic in her at all. On the contrary, she looked like she knew exactly what she was doing & where she was headed. ā€œStill,ā€ said my superego, ā€œshe’s just a 4-year-old kid, are you blind?ā€ Before I knew it, she had gone off the sidewalk, crossed the street, & disappeared into a crowd on the other side. Minutes later, I couldn’t concentrate on the mass. I swore I’d probably have never lived it down if news the next day said ā€œ4-year-old girl found dead on C.M. Recto St.ā€ When you see a child—especially one who ā€œlooksā€ alone, or ā€œseemsā€ alone—the first question in your head is: ā€œSinong magulang ng batang ito?ā€ Why? Because if we think ā€œseaā€ & immediately think water, if we think desert & immediately think dry, if we think ā€œbreatheā€ & immediately think air—when we think & see a child, we immediately think relationship, relatedness. That’s why there’s nothing sadder than an orphaned child, or a foundling. Deep in all human hearts, a child must never be alone. A child immeidately calls forth relationship, relatedness, connection. This is the first reason why I think the feast of the Santo NiƱo is important in our faith, sisters & brothers. The Santo NiƱo is the ā€œinfant-God,ā€ the ā€œchild-Godā€ who reminds us of a permanent & unshakable character of God which we often forget or take for granted: that immediately & once & for all, God is related to us, immediately & once & for all, connected to us, in a relationship with us, as his free choice, out of his free love. I wish to emphasize this, dear sisters & brothers, because many of us do not often think of God as immediately & once & for all related to us, in a relationship with us, loving us. Our default is often an image of God ā€œaboveā€ us, isolated in all his power, like a benevolent overlord, a patientĀ  prefect of discipline, a quiet moral policeman—all of which are ā€œofficialā€ terms but hardly relational terms. That’s why we need the feast of the Santo NiƱo, & quite desperately so. It’s the infant-God’s way of reminding us who he is in his very essence: a God who is freely, immediately, & once & for all related to us, connected to us, in a relationship with us. If we take that seriously, it should make many of us turn a corner in our faith & religiosity. And just like it’s unnerving to see a 4-year-old child walking alone, it should unnerve us if we’ve always believed that God, to be God, should be asunder from us. Because, you & I know that he never is. No, not even when we sin. God never disconnects even if we do. You’ve also heard it said many times that the Christ-child reminds us of how deeply, vulnerably human Jesus was. Allow me to add a little something to that. When I saw the vulnerable little girl that Sunday afternoon, she made me feel vulnerable. Even if she & I were related in no way, shape, or form—her being just a child on a sidewalk straightaway roped me in, to assume some way, shape, or form of responsibility over her. Unbeknownst to her, she committed me to a very basic connection, a fundamental responsibility. Suddenly, I was disturbed by the challenge to care, to go beyond my comfort zone, to change direction; all of which I did not do that afternoon, because, shame on me, I was ā€œrunning lateā€,Ā  headed on a straight path to, of all places, church. That’s the 2nd reason I realized why the feast of the Santo NiƱo is important to us, dear sisters & brothers. Not only is an ā€œinfant-Godā€ immediately & once & for all related to us—that relationship must make us feel vulnerable enough so that we do our part in it: to assume responsibility over it, to care for even the most fundamental connection, to push beyond our comfort zones or even change direction if needed…& in my case, vulnerable enough to feel deeply terrible if we don’t,

General, Homilies, Soul Food, Updates and Activities

What is your wish this season?

Homily from Fr. Mario Francisco, S.J.Ā on January 1, 2018,Ā Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Mother of God, at the Cenacle Retreat House.   I pose what may seem an unlikely question to each of you, from the youngest in body to the young at heart: What is your wish this season? I ask this because this season makes sense only for those who wish. It could be anything from the priced/ prized—like a housedress with a euro pricetag (no names) to what an old Mastercard ad calls that which is priceless . Our usual measure of joy this season is the match between what we wish for and what we receive, between promise and fulfilment. Thus we count our blessings – heartfelt laughter with family and friends, health in body and spirit, broken hearts mended and hurts forgiven, fruitful ministries, generosity for those in need. We have indeed much to be joyful about . But what gives if wish and gift, promise and fulfilment do not match? I suppose you remember one gift you wished for but did not get. That unfulfilled wish could sow seeds of disappointment and blame at those we call ā€œwalang isang salitaā€ —first at Santa Claus and then when we’ re older, parents. This broken promise could multiply hidden in our selves, and grow from tampo or mahay into resentment and anger, hitting at close targets, like those around us or at long-range, at life in general. Thus the world becomes a garden overgrown with broken vows, painful secrets , campaign promises , bullying posts and fake news weeded backyard where words betray and stifle. Does this season’ s meaning vanish into thin air for those of us left with empty words in this earth—patch outside Eden? We know that God comes to us at this season , not as Santa Claus, not as the All-Powerfu1 and the All-Wealthy but as Word, the Word spoken by the Father. He spoke before through others – prophets, holy women and men of Israel – but now, he gives us his Word—the only Word more solid than anything in the universe, because it is not thin air but made visible, made flesh and this Word’s promise never broken. As we say, “Ang kanyang pangako’y hindi kailanman mapapako [His promise will not be nailed and remain just a promise] ” although we know too that this Word would be nailed on the cross as fulfilment of his promise . My dear friends, with this singular gift to us of God’s only-begotten Word made solid in the flesh in Jesus, human words, our very words, though flimsy and fragile , gain weight, because Jesus spoke with these same words to family and followers, to the suffering and the powerful, to little children and to his heavenly Father. Let us then echo his voice and speak to each other, face to face or in digital space, with words of truthfulness and fidelity of generosity and compassion . This season we have great reason to be joyful. We express thanks for countless gifts and fulfilled wishes . But more than wish fulfilment and most of all, we sing our gratitude for the unbroken promise of God’ s Word made flesh and for the worth and weight that it gives our own fumblingĀ words to each other .

General, Soul Food

The Heart of Discipleship

Daily Reflections for Lent by Sr. Genevieve Glen, OSB; Not by Bread Alone 2017, Liturgical Press: Minnesota   April 10: Monday of Holy Week The Heart of Discipleship Reading: Isaiah 42:1-7; John 12:1-11 Ā  Scripture: Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil. . . . and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair. . . . (John 12:3)   Reflection: Mary of Bethany—Martha and Lazarus’s sister, Jesus’ friend and disciple—reappears in today’s gospel. In Luke’s gospel, written earlier than John’s, she provoked her sister’s ire by choosing to sit at Jesus’ feet like a disciple and listen to him rather than helping with the meal. Now she again flouts convention buy anointing Jesus’ feet with expensive perfumed oil and drying them with her hair. Again she provokes ire, this time from Judas. Ironically, he protests her disregard for Jesus’ teaching about the poor, though he, not she, will prove to be the false disciple. In neither story does Mary utter a word of self-defense, but Jesus defends her in startling terms—in Luke, for choosing the one essential, a listening discipleship; here for expressing her discipleship in an act Jesus deems prophetic. In both cases, Mary goes to the heart of discipleship: the mystery of Jesus himself, in Luke as the Word of God speaking of their midst, now in John as the Anointed One who will die. She annoys her sister Martha by ignoring the precept of hospitality to a guest. She angers Judas by ignoring the poor. Jesus says once again that Mary, disciple to the core, has her priorities right: the person of this Messiah outweighs even his own ethical teaching. There are times, and this is one of them, when the disciple must let Jesus’ teachings fade into the background to focus attention entirely on him and own fully who he really is. And, as Jesus himself will, Mary sets aside all concern for her own good name to do what discipleship bids her because she above all of them has truly understood the Truth he will claim at the Last Supper to be (John 14:6) We live in a doing a world, busy about work of all sorts. As disciples, we do our best to carry out the works of the gospel. But Mary teaches us the core of discipleship: knowing Jesus, the source and definition of all good works. Meditation: What has your focus been this Lent? How has your Lenten penance brought you to know Christ more deeply? Prayer: Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, grant us the grace to recognize you as the source and center of our life as disciples.   (Image from the internet.)

General, Homilies, Soul Food

God’s freebies

Homily of Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ, on the Fourth Sunday of Lent 2017 at the Cenacle Retreat House, Quezon City. Fr. Joe Roche was our professor in the theology of Grace, oh, 500 years ago. Most of you are familiar with the teaching method back in the day. Straight lecture, exposition of concepts & terms, arguments, counter-arguments. Very informative, if anything, but pretty much cut & dried. But there was this one rare morning when Fr. Joe stopped lecturing & broke into a story. ā€œThere were two orphan girls—a teen-ager & her 7-year-old sister. They begged on the street all day, everyday. And on their way home, they’d often stop by a small store that sold little knick-knacks. Big sister always had her eye on a small bracelet of fancy stones. After a bit, they’d go on home. Then came the birthday of big sister, during which they still begged out on the street. On their way home, they stopped by the store again & just when big sister was about to admire the bracelet, it was gone. She was crestfallen & went home sad. When they got home, little sister fished something out of her pocket, something wrapped with scrap paper, & gave it to her big sister—happy birthday. When big sister opened it, it was the bracelet. Little sister thought big sister would be happy. Instead, she said, ā€˜How did you get this? You stole this. You stole this from that store! Don’t you remember what mother told us before she died? That we should never steal? You little thief!ā€ And she dragged her crying little sister to the store to return the bracelet. The little one couldn’t get a word in edgewise no matter how she tried. In the store, big sister put the bracelet on the counter & started apologizing profusely to the clerk. The clerk shook his head as she tried to explain & apologize, explain & apologize; whereupon, little sister just ran out of the store, sat on the sidewalk & buried her face in her little hands. After big sister stopped talking, the clerk looked at her in the eye & sternly said, ā€˜Your little sister did not steal this bracelet, young lady. She bought it & gave everything she had.ā€™ā€ Apparently, little sister had been saving a little bit every day for many days, so she could buy her sister a birthday present. Whereas everybody noticed that the man blind from birth could now see, nobody appreciated it. Instead, every person he turned to said he should not be seeing. ā€œYou were blind from birth, how could you see now?ā€ ā€œYou were healed on the Sabbath, when healing is forbidden.ā€ ā€œWhoever healed you is a sinful man, as sinful as you are.ā€ Even the poor guy’s parents wanted nothing to do with him because they were afraid of ā€œthe law.ā€ So, there was something beautiful that happened that day: a poor beggar, blind from birth, received the gift he must’ve dreamed of all his life. But what he got was a scolding all around, because he wasn’t supposed to receive that gift. It was all wrong. He should’ve stayed blind because (a) he didn’t deserve the gift of sight for being a sinner, & (b) the day he received it outlawed it. Magagalit ang Diyos, they all seemed to say. Magagalit ang Diyos. ā€œBut I could see,ā€ you could almost hear the man whimper. ā€œHindi. Magagalit ang Diyos.ā€ Spit & dust…that was all it took to heal the man blind from birth; two virtually worthless stuff, spit & dust; free, no charge—but resulting into a dream come true. Libre, walang bayad! But as it happens, dear sisters & brothers, we are often scared of divine gratuity. When God gives us a freebie, especially an extravagant freebie, & turns ā€œspit & dustā€ into, say, a ā€œfavorite braceletā€ or the gift of light & a dream come true—we go grateful but we get nervous. Underneath our gratitude quivers an anxiety: ā€œHmm, ano kaya ang hihingin ng Diyos bilang kapalit? What’s the catch?ā€ Because we figure, it must written somewhere that when God waxes magnanimous, we better be ready for what he’s going to ask for in return. If you think about it, this no-such-thing-as-free-lunch, this is really what rules human freebies, isn’t it? It forms part of how relate with each other. What has happened, though, is we’ve transmuted it to God. So just as we become anxious when someone is terribly magnanimous to us, so, too, do we second-guess what God’s generosity might be all about, because sooner or later, he’d be sending a bill. And if we don’t pay the bill, magagalit ang Diyos. Magagalit ang Diyos.Ā  Divine gratuity terrifies us, doesn’t it? Even if we see more than enough signs that God gives us pretty much everything that we need—our life’s ā€œfavorite braceletsā€, so to speak, our dreams-come-true, healing from our suffering, safety for our family, unrelenting forgiveness—even when barely deserve half of it all—something about divine gratuity terrifies us. ā€œBut I can see,ā€ the man blind from birth tells us. ā€œFrom worthless spit & dust, the Lord has made shining light for me!ā€ But something in our hearts somehow says, ā€œNo. Magagalit ang Diyos. No.ā€ For what is left of Lent, dear sisters & brothers, let us pray to God to really open our eyes so we could really appreciate divine gratuity, God’s extravagant freebies. Let us pray in such a way that we really get God’s message that might go something like this: ā€œAnak, did it ever occur to you that I give you what you need—& much, much more besides—because I love you & that’s it? Because I love you. I love all of you. Libre. Walang bayad.ā€ God really gives us his everything, sisters & brothers. Jesus, our Lord, was everything to God. So God gave us no less than his everything.

General, Homilies, Jubilee, Soul Food

When Jesus sees the depths our heart

Homily by Fr. Ritchie Genilo, SJ, on the Thursday before Epiphany, at the Cenacle Retreat House, Quezon City. The Gospel is from John 1 :43-51. In our gospel reading we read about how Nathanael became one of the apostles of Jesus. Many scholars believe that the apostle Bartholomew that we read in the gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke, is the same person as the apostle Nathanael that we read today in the gospel of John. In our gospel story, Philip, a friend of Nathanael, had been called by Jesus to follow him as an apostle. Philip was so excited about meeting Jesus that he went to tell his friend Nathanael that he has found the long awaited Messiah. What was the reaction of Nathanael to the news of Philip? Nathanael said, ā€œCan anything good come out of Nazareth?ā€ Why was this the reaction of Nathanael? There was nothing in the Old Testament which foretold that God’s Chosen One should come from Nazareth.Ā  Nazareth was an ordinary town.Ā  Nathanael himself came from another town in Galilee, which was Cana. In those days, there would be rivalries between towns. Nathanael’s reaction was to declare that Nazareth was not the kind of place that will produce anything good. Nathanael was putting down Jesus because of his bias against the town of Nazareth. But Philip did not argue with Nathanael about his bias. Philip simply said to Nathanael.Ā  “Come and see!” So Nathanael came; and when Jesus saw him, Jesus saw into his heart. Jesus recognized in Nathanael a simplicity and innocence that will make him a good apostle. Even if Nathanael had a bias against Nazareth, Jesus praised Nathanael by calling him a genuine Israelite, a man in whose heart there is no guile. Jesus. Nathanael was surprised that a person like Jesus who came from Nazareth could praise him like that even if it was the first time they met. Nathanael asked how Jesus could possibly know him.Ā  Jesus told him that he had already seen him under the fig-tree.Ā  What is the significance of that? The fig-tree was leafy and shady tree and it was the custom to sit and meditate under its branches.Ā  Probably was what Nathanael had been doing; and no doubt as he sat under the fig-tree he had prayed for the day when God’s Chosen One should come.Ā  No doubt he had been meditating on the promises of God. And now he felt that Jesus had seen into the very depths of his heart. It was not so much that Jesus had seen him under the fig-tree that surprised Nathanael; it was the fact that Jesus had read the thoughts of his inmost heart.Ā  Nathanael said to himself: “Here is the man who understands my dreams!Ā  Here is the man who knows my prayers!Ā  Here is the man who has seen into my most intimate and secret longings, longings which I have never even dared put into words!Ā  Here is the man who can understand my soul!Ā  This must be God’s promised anointed one and no other.”Ā  Nathanael immediately believed in Jesus because Jesus was the only one who could read, understand and satisfy his heart. What can we learn about the story of the call of Nathanael or St. Bartholomew? First, we should not be ashamed or embarrassed to tell our friends about Jesus. In the same way that Philip became the instrument for Nathanael to come and see Jesus we should also be ready to share Jesus with the people who are close to us. Sharing Jesus with the people we care about is the best gift we can give to our friends. Second, we are challenged to go beyond our prejudices and biases against other people and try to see Christ also present in people who are different from us. We should also be ready to recognize the goodness present in other people even if these people are against us. Jesus recognized the goodness of Nathanael despite the biases he had against Nazareth. And Nathanael allowed Jesus to break through his pride and his prejudices and opened himself to the Good News that Jesus brings. Lastly, we should always turn to Jesus as the only one who can read, understand and satisfy our hearts. Jesus understands our dreams and hopes, our sadness and fears, and the deepest desires of our hearts. It is only in Jesus can our souls find rest and true happiness. At the end of the gospel, Jesus quotes the old story of Jacob at Bethel who had seen the golden ladder leading up to heaven (Gen.28:12-13). It was as if Jesus said: “Nathanael, I can do far more than read your heart.Ā  I can be for you and for all persons the way, the ladder that leads to heaven.”Ā  It is through Jesus and Jesus alone that our souls can mount the ladder which leads to heaven. May we be inspired by the story of Nathanael or St. Bartholomew, that we have a friend in Jesus who can truly see and understand our souls and lead us to our heavenly home. Image from the internet.

General, Homilies, Soul Food

Kings

Homily by Fr. Arnel Aquino, SJ on the Solemnity of Christ the King, at the Cenacle Retreat House, Quezon City. Neuropsychologist, Dr. James Fallon has studied the neuropathology of dictators. In a brief summary, he says in Psychology Today: ā€œSo, what binds dictators across history and geography? What traits do they share? They are usually charming, charismatic, intelligent. They brim with self-confidence & independence, & exude sexual energy. (From an accompanying video) Many of them are hypersexual, some are asexual, but sexually, many of them are off. They are also extremely self-absorbed, masterful liars, compassionless, often sadistic, & possess a boundless appetite for power.ā€ Sound familiar? Hitler, Stalin, Quadafi, Putin, Kim Jong-il, Assad, etc., & of course, the latest ā€œMiss Universeā€ of leaders today, Donald Trump, they all fit the bill. Pinoys aren’t exempt, are we? It’s interesting, but dictators do have things in common. Grandiosity—the rich ones, in lifestyle; the not-so-rich, in behavior; ballistic attitude against opposers; victorious rhetoric of being champions for the poor, even if everybody knows they all connive with aristocrats who, with them, do not care a whit for the poor. Dr. Fallon says that dictators show the same behaviors as ordinary psychopaths. Psychopaths are the way they are because of an underdeveloped, scarred, or damaged pre-frontal cortex. That area of the brain is abnormally low-activity. This predisposes them to aggression. Their amygdala is also abnormal so they can’t regulate their fear very well, or their rage, sexual impulses, & emotional memory. Organized chaos, that’s how their neurochemicals fire. I guess that’s why they’re charismatic yet aggressive, brilliant yet deeply hateful, friendly yet coldly vindictive. In all this, they feel very good about themselves! See, when you read & listen to Dr. Fallon, you’ll find that he’s very professional. He doesn’t make value judgments. He simply reports his fascinating neurological findings. So, listening to him, you start to get the impression that psychopaths aren’t that way by choice; that it’s not them, it’s how their brains are wired; that they’re, well, more or less, ā€œnormalā€ rather than bone-deep wacko. After all, for us, wacko means mental hospital crazy. Right? These men, however, are out loose, & something about them appeals to thousands. Do we not, after all, remember that it’s people who sit ā€œkingsā€ on their thrones? So, something in these pathological ā€œkingsā€ stirs people profoundly. I’m not sure what it is, but more & more, I think that their strange mystique appeals to people’s core issues of powerlessness. The helpless, the edged-out, the forgotten, the mass of everyday humanity seem to enthrone with these ā€œkingsā€ their long-standing yearnings—in spite of signs aplenty pointing right the opposite! But they’re also enthroned by the self-seeking wealthy who would befriend anyone & anything to perpetuate themselves. Question: is it fair to say that pathological dictators do not make themselves kings, but rather, that people crown them? Maybe. Maybe we do choose our kings. And from the way we, Pinoys, have freely elected sovereigns—& I wish to emphasize that word, ā€œfreelyā€, something not many nations today happen to enjoy—from the way we’ve crowned our kings, it isn’t clear if we really know what we’re doing, even if we might know what we want. In the 1st reading, Yahweh chooses David & makes him king, a breath of fresh air after the troubled reign of manic-depressive Saul whom, by the way, people hailed as their first king. David was the greatest king of Israel. Everything their past kings were, David wasn’t. He was merciful. He made mistakes but admitted he was wrong & repented. He cared for his subjects rather than lorded it over them. Most of all, may takot siya sa Diyos. David feared & was faithful to God more than anybody else, even more than himself. The next greatest king would be born from David’s lineage. And like David, this one was merciful. He was deeply in touch with his strengths & weaknesses. He had a soft spot for the helpless, the edged-out, the forgotten. He repudiated human evils & human suffering, not his enemies. With great respect & captivating gentleness, he carried himself in simplicity. But the self-righteous angered him, the overbearing, the snobbish; because they added burden to the already burdened. Most of all, he was wise because his heart was his Father’s. ā€˜Yun nga lang, hindi handa para sa isang hari tulad niya ang sarili niyang mundong ginalawan. So they parodied his sovereignty with thorns for a crown, a cross for a throne, & a mocking supertitle, ā€œking of the Jews.ā€ We know better today, don’t we? Then again, I’m not sure. Maybe, had we kept our eyes fixed on the ā€œking of the Jewsā€ every time we exercised our God-given freedom to elect our ā€œkings,ā€ then maybe, we would’ve reached that day when our potential leaders really worked themselves up to the criteria—the criteria of the crucified king of the Jews who healed our suffering, or at least, made sense of our suffering through is own—instead of worsen it. Unless we keep our eyes lifted towards the our king of the Jews, we will be choosing time & again, & giving tremendous power to psychopaths. And, you know, dear sisters & brothers, I hate to say this, but unless we learned to apply the criteria of the king of the Jews to our potential kings, we’d most probably keep deserving these psychopaths. May this season of Advent be a time of repentance & forgiveness. Maybe we can also repent over, & later forgive ourselves, for many of our questionable choices for ā€œkingsā€. May the Lord look with mercy upon all of us from his cross & free us from our own crosses, some of which have been self-chosen. Amen.

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